Comments on: Lonely City?

By: George

George — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:57:00 +0000

I think one of the most lonesome environments is actually the suburb, where everything is car dependent. In random order people go from work to home to school to store/mall to home all by car! Very limiting social interaction compared with a small town/downtown or a city. The suburbs are a cookie cutter life, dull n boring, kids and cull-d-sacs!

By: Mark Connelly

Mark Connelly — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 10:20:23 +0000

People are becoming more connected thanks to text-messaging and Facebook.

By: Bert Sperling

Bert Sperling — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:53:29 +0000

We often fail to realize that idyllic suburban and exurban neighborhoods can become a ghost town during the weekday, when commuters and schoolchildren go to their workplaces.
I have a home office in one of these neighborhoods, and during the day it’s just me and the landscape crews.
I joke that one of these days, I’ll go for a walk and get picked up for not having a ‘green card.’
Best,
Bert

By: tpk-nyc

tpk-nyc — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:55:16 +0000

I’m very surprised by those numbers. I had no idea that that many people could afford to live alone in Manhattan.

By: hayden fisher

hayden fisher — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 06:07:28 +0000

I grew up in a small town and enjoyed it. But I would not want to live in one now. Of course, it depends on what kind of small town you’re talking about; Lexington, Virginia, where I went to undergrad and law school, is one of the coolest quaint towns you could come across. Several restaurants you would expect to find in larger cities, two celebrated schools (VMI and Washington & Lee), lots of history, etc. Again, I wouldn’t personally want to live there now but the vibe is much different than many other small towns. Clearly, however, cities offer an energy and vibe generally not found in small towns. Especially for people who like to be around random other people. I spent several days studying for the bar exam on the DC Metro literally just riding back and forth on the Orange line. I found that random hub-bub of activity soothing and it kept me focused without being bored. Anyone who lives in a small town would probably go insane from that experience. To each, their own!

By: Swordsman

Swordsman — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:42:19 +0000

Small towns are great if you’re in tune with the local value system and economy. If not, you’re not going to do well.

By: Buzzcut

Buzzcut — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:25:22 +0000

Don’t discount how much cities have changed in the last 15 or so years. New York City was literally unlivable in 1990. That shaped people’s attitudes towards one another, and not for the good.

Now that crime is well under control, people can be more trusting and open. And friendlier.

It is a sea change.

By: Michael Wells

Michael Wells — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:49:00 +0000

Richard,

I think this is related to your observations about personality types. People who feel comfortable and connected in small towns live in small towns. People who feel comfortable and connected in cities move to cities.

Having grown up in small towns where most of my family of my generation and older still live, I can tell you that they feel very comfortable there, while I find the culture very confining and isolating. Having lived virtually my entire adult life in big cities, I find it much easier to make connections in them and have not been lonely in the least.

We were in NYC a few weeks ago, a place I always find fascinating and welcoming. The people I saw seemed constantly engaged, even if they were arguing, and didn’t look very lonely to me.

I’d guess the “truism” of cities as lonely places is rooted in the age when most of America was still rural. The myth has yet to catch up with the reality.