It’s become a veritable truism that cities are cold, lonely places and that small towns are the centers of a more connected, communal life. This view is wrong, according to the growing field of “loneliness” research, which finds that the notion of urban alienation is more fiction then fact.
How many apartments in Manhattan would you have guessed have just one occupant? One of every eight? Every four? Every three? The number’s one of every two. Of all 3,141 counties in the United States, New York County is the unrivaled leader in single-individual households, at 50.6 percent. More than three-quarters of the people in them are below the age of 65. Fifty-seven percent are female. In Brooklyn, the overall number is considerably lower, at 29.5 percent, and Queens is 26.1. But on the whole, in New York City, one in three homes contains a single dweller, just one lone man or woman who flips on the coffeemaker in the morning and switches off the lights at night.
These numbers should tell an unambiguous story. They should confirm the common belief about our city, which is that New York is an isolating, coldhearted sort of place… In American lore, the small town is the archetypal community, a state of grace from which city dwellers have fallen… Yet the picture of cities—and New York in particular—that has been emerging from the work of social scientists is that the people living in them are actually less lonely. Rather than driving people apart, large population centers pull them together, and as a rule tend to possess greater community virtues than smaller ones. This, even though cities are consistently, overwhelmingly, places where people are more likely to live on their own.
Much more here (h/t: Brian Knudsen).
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Richard,
I think this is related to your observations about personality types. People who feel comfortable and connected in small towns live in small towns. People who feel comfortable and connected in cities move to cities.
Having grown up in small towns where most of my family of my generation and older still live, I can tell you that they feel very comfortable there, while I find the culture very confining and isolating. Having lived virtually my entire adult life in big cities, I find it much easier to make connections in them and have not been lonely in the least.
We were in NYC a few weeks ago, a place I always find fascinating and welcoming. The people I saw seemed constantly engaged, even if they were arguing, and didn’t look very lonely to me.
I’d guess the “truism” of cities as lonely places is rooted in the age when most of America was still rural. The myth has yet to catch up with the reality.
December 2nd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Don’t discount how much cities have changed in the last 15 or so years. New York City was literally unlivable in 1990. That shaped people’s attitudes towards one another, and not for the good.
Now that crime is well under control, people can be more trusting and open. And friendlier.
It is a sea change.
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Small towns are great if you’re in tune with the local value system and economy. If not, you’re not going to do well.
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:07 am
I grew up in a small town and enjoyed it. But I would not want to live in one now. Of course, it depends on what kind of small town you’re talking about; Lexington, Virginia, where I went to undergrad and law school, is one of the coolest quaint towns you could come across. Several restaurants you would expect to find in larger cities, two celebrated schools (VMI and Washington & Lee), lots of history, etc. Again, I wouldn’t personally want to live there now but the vibe is much different than many other small towns. Clearly, however, cities offer an energy and vibe generally not found in small towns. Especially for people who like to be around random other people. I spent several days studying for the bar exam on the DC Metro literally just riding back and forth on the Orange line. I found that random hub-bub of activity soothing and it kept me focused without being bored. Anyone who lives in a small town would probably go insane from that experience. To each, their own!
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am
I’m very surprised by those numbers. I had no idea that that many people could afford to live alone in Manhattan.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
We often fail to realize that idyllic suburban and exurban neighborhoods can become a ghost town during the weekday, when commuters and schoolchildren go to their workplaces.
I have a home office in one of these neighborhoods, and during the day it’s just me and the landscape crews.
I joke that one of these days, I’ll go for a walk and get picked up for not having a ‘green card.’
Best,
Bert
December 15th, 2008 at 5:20 am
People are becoming more connected thanks to text-messaging and Facebook.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I think one of the most lonesome environments is actually the suburb, where everything is car dependent. In random order people go from work to home to school to store/mall to home all by car! Very limiting social interaction compared with a small town/downtown or a city. The suburbs are a cookie cutter life, dull n boring, kids and cull-d-sacs!